There is more to etiquette than just saying please, excuse me or thank you. Manik Kaur a certified Grooming and Etiquette trainer from the British School of Excellence was the guest on the Navhind Times, Talk from the Heart show which aired on the Goa 365 channel on Sunday, December 10. Kaur who is also a Mindful Living and Personality Development coach, Communication Skills trainer and a Motivational Speaker by profession, spoke about the importance of etiquette in various areas of life and gave tips on some dos and don’ts.
“Etiquette does not have to be complicated and is all about making people feel comfortable and helping us navigate any situation smoothly,” she stated and explained how good etiquette shows respect for others, their culture, values and beliefs.
Etiquette, a word which we are all aware of, is made of two parts. The first is manners like chewing with your mouth close, holding doors, shaking hands, etcetera, and the other part includes the principles of etiquette, namely – consideration, honesty and respect. “These principles are timeless and cross cultural boundaries, unlike manners, which can change over time and differ around the world,” said Kaur, “Simply put, manners are often the how, and principles are the why.”
Knowing and utilising these principles of personal and/or business etiquette contribute to leading a mindful and respectful life in various social and professional settings. “How you make people feel in your presence which could be a personal or a work setting is what etiquette boils down to,” said Kaur. “It includes everything in our behaviour both verbal as well as non-verbal,” she added. Mindfulness, she explained is the key to etiquette. “Your tone, pitch and expressions, are all important when interacting with others and another very important factor is giving attention to the person we are speaking with,” she said. Giving examples she highlighted how with changing times and in a world where social media is king, we are losing sight of mindfulness and especially people.
Many consider etiquette dated or even obsolete in modern times but Kaur is of the opinion that it is timeless. “Like people, etiquette too keeps evolving with evolving times. There is no rigidity as nothing is set in stone. It is all about taking the best from everywhere and applying it to present times to strike a balance between traditional etiquette and evolving social norms in today’s diverse and dynamic world,” she said. “Adaptation is important and what to say, when to say and how to say it and act accordingly is the base of this adaptation in all situations.”
In the business etiquette section, Kaur spoke about the importance of the right professional image and relationships. “To portray this image, one must first and foremost remember that one is in a professional setting and hence behave accordingly. One should not take this carelessly or mindlessly and dress according to their role,” she advised, “Most often after a period of time people get complacent in their position or role and dress and behave incorrectly.” She then gave tips on clothing, accessories, footwear, etcetera.
Another area she highlighted was business lunches and dinners. “All business meals, whether lunches or dinners are actually very strategic and your personality, character, professionalism come to the fore and are assessed by others. Today interviews too are held over a meal and knowing table manners and having knowledge of cutlery/crockery and glassware can be an advantage,” she said.
Table settings definitely can appear daunting initially but once one knows what utensils to use, it becomes easier. “A simple rule of thumb is that utensils are generally placed in the order of their use. So, when in doubt, start from the outside and work your way in. Another handy trick is to think of solids on your left, and liquids on your right,” she shared.
Mindful manners not only make those around you comfortable but also contribute to your personal well-being.
